The Democratic Campaign and Line Dancing

There are times in a young blogger's life when he has to do things he doesn't want to do. Yesterday, I wanted badly to watch the Democratic debate in Nevada. There were many reasons I wanted to watch this particular debate. I know there have been several hundred before and there will be several hundred after but I spent six hours the day before at Books A Million (AKA the library, the only difference is you can't take books into the shitter at Books A Million, I was going to buy the damn book anyways. Maybe Joe Mugg's coffee shouldn't use ca-ca beans in there coffee you weasley books a million manager enjoy your life dream of being a books a million manager Brad!) What was I talking about? Oh yeah, I read a few chapters of some interesting books about the housing problem and the group of men who cased it...on purpose supposedly. I also read some of Bill O' Reilly's book and parts of Keith Olberman's which I will get to in another blog. Soon. I don't know when, check your new blog email notifications. At any rate, I had heard Ms. Clinton would be talking about this. Also, Mr. Obama and Ms. Clinton would be discussing what they thought was wrong with the economy and their plans to fix it. So there I was, sitting at my girlfriend's house watching the debate. I was enthralled, well, after they got over the "race" discussion, which wasn't a discussion at all. It was pretty much just everyone saying, "I have black friends." Which is true, and good for them. Then around the second break I noticed my girlfriend trying on different shirts, looking in the mirror and dancing up and down. About the third shirt, I asked her about it.

"What are you doing? Do you need me to check for lumps or something?"

"Babeeeeee, you know what tonight is."

"Yeah, debate night."

"Not everyone likes to watch the debates."

"Who doesn't"

"All the people we are hanging out with tonight."

"Who's that?"

Then her poodle started barking and peeing on the carpet a little. That means someone is at the door. In walked her friend from work Laura. Laura was wearing a tiny, cut up t shirt with rebel flags on it that said, "When your butt's this good, who needs boobs?" Also, so she had tiny cut off jeans and a cup of wine. I started to figure out what was going on.

"Hey girl."

"Hey girl."

"Hey girl."

"Hey Max. Where did your mustache go?"

"I had to shave, I wasn't ready yet. I miss it."

"Geeze, I can't find the right shirt for line dancing"

Damn it. Damn it, damn it, damn it.



Once inside, I tried to take the place in. But it was hard because it was a huge place. There was a mechanical bull, which by the way, is it okay for guys to ride those? I don't know why, but I always thought it was a girl thing to do, but I've seen more guys do it then girls. My good friend Matt Sevcik did it once and he had to fill out a release form first. To add to my theory that only girls are supposed to do it, the release had these questions

Are you pregnant: Yes No
Are you sure: Yes No
Are you menstruating: Yes No
Do you agree to maintain your balance in a sexy way: Yes No

Okay the last one wasn't on there, but whatever. What was I talking about? I need to quit blogging under the influence but I keep thinking cocaine worked for Poe, so whatever. So we are inside. There is a huge dance floor, a few TVs, all on either ABC or a Kenney Chesney learn to dance DVD from the 90's. It looks like it was in the nineties, of course it's hard to tell in country videos. Sorry, bloggers don't use outlines. So there was a bull, there were tons of chicks line dancing, and there were a bunch of dudes. Fortunately my girlfriend knows there is no way I'm line dancing so all I have to do is hold her wine, and camera, and wallet, and whatever when she goes to dance. There were also two gay guys there, one was exactly like my other good friend named Matt Mitchell, I mean, to a T. Why do people say that? There is too much to write here, I have to take a break. Let's recap.

1: I wanted to watch the debate
2: I ended having to go to a line dancing bar
3: Capri Sun really takes the edge off.


My girlfriend just walked in, I have to go. To be continued tomorrow.