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A Clinical Study on Glasses and The Level of Fullness/And or Emptiness They Thereby Contain

You may notice I haven't been blogging recently. And by you I mean me. I am well aware that I'm the only one who reads my blog, but it's so much easier to make yourself write if it is on the internet. I did write a long blog at three in the morning about Bush and his new budget proposal. I don't know why that of all things set me off. I try to constantly rethink how I feel about politics and step back from my own beliefs and try to feel what others feel but that is really hard to do. I don't like writing about politics because I don't want anyone to think I judge them because their beliefs are different then mine or whatever. It sounds so trite but it's true. Not just because I want other people to feel like they can be both honest and comfortable with me no matter what, but it's just way easier to get someone to listen to your beliefs and think about them if you actually listen and think about theirs.

That being said, you're an idiot if you don't like Obama. Jk, Jk. But honestly, isn't it hard not to like him? I'm of course the wrong guy to ask because I am practically in love with him. Actually I am in love with him. Not in the way I love Otis Redding or George Clooney (which is actually a few ways for him) and not love like I've had a few pitchers of dogg juice and I see some girl who is wearing a headband, but in the way you would love your teacher. The good teachers make you want to be good in class, and do well on tests, and never be late and they make you want to prove to them that you are learning. It's nice to feel inspiring, but it's just as good to feel truly inspired. I have a few months until I am out of school (if I get my thesis done) and I've noticed Ive had a change of feelings. I used to dread getting out of school, I thought I would have to find some job that I would hate and live for the weekends and Friends re-runs. By the wayI don't care what anyone says, Monica is and always has been way hotter than Rachael. Yeah, Rachael was cool for a few months because she got a good hair cut, but take her hair away and what do you have. Some skinny girl who looks like an older, better put together Olsen twin, and who wants that? But lately I feel like I will be able to do something useful, something I want. It's nice to see that millions of people don't like the way things are and want a change. It's good to feel hope and to believe in politics. It's nice to hear someone talking to you and coming up with ideas that you think are good ideas and to hear that other people think they are good ideas. Like giving students 5000 dollars to go to school if they do community service, that's just a good idea. I'm not stupid, I know he is campaigning and also what about the kids who have to work every day and can't afford school or living and don't have time to do school work, real work, and community service but it's a definite start.

Let's see what happens.

Heavy Metal Review

Heavy Metal is what you get when you base a film off of ideas about collections of art, images, and music. There is no central theme to the film that is meaningful or at all important so far as plot or story. Heavy Metal is an amalgamation of different kinds of art and genres and that is where it offers worth as a film. However, it is also what stops it short from becoming a good film.
The same ideas that give Heavy Metal it's strength are the ones that causes all the weaknesses. Instead of doing a collection of completely separate stories, Heavy Metal tries to loosely connect them with an outer story of some green ball of evil that is just showing her all this stuff. The problem is, not all the stories are about evil. One story is about some aliens who pick up a secretary and then a robot sleeps with her. Then the robot makes masturbation and Jewish jokes and that is just about the entire film. Sure, the aliens do cocaine and go on a drug trip and see the Star Trek Enterprise but that isn't necessarily evil. And if it is, it isn't even the main part of the story. Other stories are more about good triumphing over evil than they are about the pure evil this green ball is talking about. Also, as the ball is telling the last story, in the story a woman defeats the ball. While the ball is telling this story, he blows up. It could be argued that the point was this new girl was the new guardian and she defeated the evil, but she just ran out of the house. How could the ball tell the story of him getting defeated if he had been defeated and how could him telling the story defeat him. There is really no excuse for this. My theory is, whenever someone wanted to put something into the film that they thought would be a cool idea they had to tie it to the green ball.
The only discussions for this film in the planning stages probably all began with, "wouldn't it be cool if..." That explains why a roto-scoped convertible with a guy in a space suit brings that ball of death home to his daughter. "Wouldn't it be cool if we had some guy in a space suit driving a convertible in space?" "Sure, but how do we tie it in?" "Ummm, the green ball. He is bringing the green ball home to his daughter." These "wouldn't it be cool if" ideas ruin any chance the film had for a plot or any cohesive moments. Even the music doesn't match. The music is a wide arrangement of "metal bands" and even classical music and less heavy metal bands. Even thought the film is entitled Heavy Metal, heavy metal is played just as often as non-heavy metal bands and music. They didn't get a Heavy Metal artist to do the music in the film, they got Elmer Bernstein. The music plays over talking, or begins in odd places or ends in equally odd places. Even though Bersteins music plays throughout the film, it is interrupted with metal songs and no theme or cohesiveness can be achieved. The music does not emphasize the mood or develop the theme. They are simply songs to listen to while you watch the images.
All of these things that make a bad film also make the film interesting. The "wouldn't it be cool if" mentality brings some visually interesting things to the screen. For instance, "wouldn't it be cool if we filmed a naked woman and then drew over the film?" From that we saw extensive artistic roto-scoping and technology advancements. Of course, this is again countered by choppy, child-like animation from non-rotoscoped animations. Again the lack of cohesiveness is evident even in the animation, some shots and segments are extremely artistic and intriguing while others are bland and more like a He-Man cartoon.
In the end, the film is a success for what it seemed to set out to do. It was a film to showcase art and story ideas from and for a specific demographic. It was a film that provided the question to a handful of people. "wouldn't it be cool if," and that handful of people who they were asking responded with "yes." The film wasn't a huge success, and isn't necessarily referred to as a legendary classic, but a notable one at least in the terms of animation. Though this film has no cohesiveness whatsoever and fails to maintain any theme or direction, it is a successful orgy of science fiction, heavy music, naked women, fantasy beliefs, and sometimes imaginative art.

Tron Review

Tron is not a timeless film. The reason for this is Tron relied heavily on ground breaking special effects and cutting edge, rarely before seen technological advancements in modern film. The outer story is stale and slowly moves navigates through one generic twist after another. Since the time has long since passed where Tron can be claimed to be "visually stunning" without the words "for it's time" quickly said thereafter, one would have to discuss why the visual elements of the film were so important "for its time." Unless one could pull something out of the story that was also rarely seen for it's time. Deep within the storyline of Tron is a hidden plot, a hidden struggle. Another piece of innovative film making. Tron is one of the first main stream media films to deal with the issue of bisexuality in a main character.
The evidence for this is rampant throughout the film. In the beginning of the film we see that two of the main characters are together. Kevin is dating Lora and they both work at the local computer company/warehouse/laser refinery. We also see Kevin who is making a program to look through the company's database for some evidence, which turns out to be a printed piece of paper, that says he came up with the idea for some computer game, or program or something not really relevant to the plot except that it pits the three heroes against Sark/Dillinger. The program is represented by a humanoid computer program named Tron. Tron is played by the same character that plays Kevin. So in essence, Alan is at home watching Kevin on the computer. When he loses the computer program/Tron he is violently upset, he uses the emotions commonly saved for real life people.
The real story begins when Kevin and Lora come over to Alan's video arcade. Alan is surrounded by hot, sweaty teenage girls and boys who are watching him play a video game. This technological world is shown to the viewer and from this point until the end of the film as a visual representation as an inner struggle in Kevin, Lora, and Alan's inner psyche and sexuality. A shot is shown of the object Alan is struggling to beat in the game. It is a large thing starship that looks nothing like any starship ever seen. It really looks like a pair of legs and a waist. In between the legs is an indistinguishable bump. What is the name of this oddly shaped star craft? Is it the destroyer, the eliminator, or the terminator? No. It is called the Recognizer.



Every day Alan struggles with this recognizer in a quest to determine his sexuality. None of the characters no whom they are attracted to. When they go upstairs to discus things, Alan feels the need to change his shirt. I play video games often, and have never felt the need to change shirts after a long hard day of gaming. Not only does he for no reason take off his shirt, he puts on a shirt that says exactly the same thing. All of these elements are not accidental or silly, they are to show give you the hint that there is no reason for Alan to take off his shirt in front of Kevin and Lora plot wise. It is to show you that Kevin feels comfortable undressed in front of both Alan and Lora and they in turn feel comfortable with him undressed all in the same room.
We later find that Kevin and Lora did have a sexual relationship with comments about it from Alan. We also saw that Kevin has thought about Alan and even created a moving working image of him in his computer/mind. It is not until Kevin is digitized that we see the depth of this struggle to find out to whom he is attracted to. Once he is inside the computer/his own mind, he is put in situations, all to bring about his discovery of his own sexuality. He is in-prisoned by the flying legs and jailed next to Tron/Alan. This is the start of his prison fantasy. Tron is everything Kevin wants Alan to be in the real world. He is a strong, athletic champion who most importantly stands up to Sark/Dillinger who is the father figure of the film. The father figure oppresses all the characters in real life, and in Kevin's subconscious world represented again by the actor playing both roles. Kevin does macho things with Tron like escaping prison, riding motorcycles and climbing mountains. However, they are being chased the hole time by the flying legs, so obviously the struggle continues and being with Tron is not the final answer. In his subconscious mind he meets Lora and begins his sexy secretary fantasy. She is some kind of computer secretary and she and Kevin have a moment of sexual tension. Later her and Tron have a moment and again, even Tron and Kevin have a close up shot of the two of their faces. Kevin holds tenderly a man who is dying in his arms. This man's name was Ram. Finally, as they are working together to defeat Sark/Dillinger Sark for some reason becomes huge. Like a giant. His height makes all the other characters seem as though they are children. When they finally beat him, it is symbolic of them finally outgrowing their fear of what their father would think about them. They all come together and are set free of their struggle. Through their computer representations, Kevin realizes that he loves both Alan and Lora and is equally attracted to them and that it is okay to feel like that. Lora realizes that she may want to be promiscues and be with two men and once and feels that this is okay as well. Finally, Alan too realizes that he likes both Lora and Kevin and this works for him. For the final shot of the film, Kevin comes down out of a helicopter and the three embrace each other for the first time. They have defeated their fathers and struggle through the mazes of sexuality and now they can live happily and freely and truly begin their lives.
These themes had to be hidden in Tron because it was a mainstream film and the mainstream was not thought to be able to handle these themes in the main storyline. The eighties were a strong time for sexuality explorations and evidence can be seen in music videos and other films of the time. However, no film portrays the struggle of realizing you are a bisexual as creatively as Tron. Tron should not only be remembered as a technologically groundbreaking film, but as a film that was also groundbreaking in exploring the sexualities of people who may not coincide with the socially accepted ideas of love and relationships at that current time in history and the struggles and obstacles they would have to overcome to truly be free.

Paint fumes

Today I'd like to discuss politics. Not really politics. It's more of a Mr. Rogers ideology.

Let's put our hands in under age puppets.


That is all.

Psyche!!!

During the civil rights movement, there were some white people involved. Most of these white people were jewish. The spell corrector wants me to change that word to newish. That works too. In the beginning, the alliance seemed obvious. Intelligent oppressed people trying to live in the states as free as the next guy. But as the struggle wore on, some conflicts arose between this alliance. There are a number of logical reasons and a number of examples that I remember reading and seeing on PBS. Not in Ken Burns film's, but in super low budget documentaries that have interviews in hotel lobbies and use mostly public domain pictures of civil rights era photos that didn't always necessarily emphasize the situations being discussed in the narrative. One example was of an African American city taking control of predominantly African American schools and firing white teachers, most of whom were jewish and had fought in the cause. This kind of erupted a fight between the two. Folks in the interview used words like "heartbroken" and "troubling" on both sides of the conflict. The point is, they seemed the two most unlikely groups to fight in those times when their enemies were so much more powerful and evil. It would be like He-Man and...well I don't think anyone would team up with He-man. How about A.L.F and Black Panther. It would be like A.L.F and the Black Panther teamed up against Skeletor and Cobra Commander. Let's face it, He Man and G.I. Joe would probably have sat out the Civil Rights movement and waited to see which way the wind would blow. Then when everything was over they would tell their kids that they were in Civil Rights activities when really they just happen to be at one where this hippie chick who they were trying to bang was going to be. The point is, no one wants to see A.L.F and the Black Panther fight amongst each other. Not over something so big as Cobra and Skeletor. That's how I feel when I see this Obama Clinton fight going on. First of all, the media is kind of building it up. We all are. We are used to seeing it and we want to see it. Gore tried to be friendly with Bush and it didn't work out for him so well.

The point is, someone started stirring up shit. It was Bill Clinton. Obama and Hilary used to be buds, and it was cool. In this last debate, they started attacking each other. Edwards kept jumping in too, like a little dog that sees two big dogs fighting and jumps in to bite every now and then. But I don't care who started. No one ever does. I just want to see Obama and Hilary diffuse it. Edwards needs to back off too. To get that far in politics, everyone is going to have mistakes behind them. The truth is, if you look at all their resumes, they have a long list of doing great things for the country. From what I've read, heaps more good than harm.

Civil Rights books have chapters about how splinters of Civil Rights activists would fight amongst each other sometimes. Over little things like who would lead protests, when to lead protests, what churches or schools to start at, who gets to speak and other things. Martin Luther King would always resolve everything and bring them together. He would diffuse any conflicting. He got people fighting for the same cause and to keep their focus fighting intolerance and racism instead of each other. The falling out between the jews and the African American organizations happened after he was gone.

Martin Luther King also wrote about how when white people would hear his message and truly change, no one would ever see it. The media was never interested when he had the real human to human breakthroughs, they were only there when dogs were unleashed or hoses were fired. I'm sure he was disappointed in this. He truly wanted to make things better without fighting. He just wanted to make things better and bring people together.


Right now it seems like many things are working against people and our pursuits of happiness. Skeletor and Cobra are peeing on people's bread, putting glitter on the top of fan blades and waiting for their unsuspecting roommates to turn them on, and disconnecting our car batteries. Not only that, but they have tracked dog shit into our houses and then took turns smelling their shoes saying "It wasn't me, It wasn't me," when it obviously was one of them. They are leaving stuff that we will be cleaning up for some time. When we move out, the landlord is going to keep our deposits and write reasons like, "ruined carpet, funny smell in closet??." We need people who want to make things better. Not say the things that they think we want to hear, or make some things slightly better for a few while making things atrocious for most.

I don't want to see an African American man and a female who both have a historic chance of leading the country in a right direction squabble with each other. There are bigger things at stake, there are worse people and worse things to argue about. We don't have time to waste. Seeing Obama or Hilary getting visibly upset and agitated at one another or throwing out quips about how one maybe worked for a chicago slum lord, or the other made a wrong choice about an ambiguous bill allowing Bush to go to war, makes them see disingenuous about caring about the fate and descent of the country. If they are angry at someone, be angry at someone deserving or attack something or some issue that needs attacking. There are plenty of them.

I know they have been pitted against each other longer than other candidates and it seems more is at stake, but they can't take their eye of the prize. They can't fight amongst each other because the more they fight each other, the less they have time to fight other things worth fighting. The more they fight, the less the republicans fight. The more they fight, the more divided other democrats have to become. The more they fight, the more I have to watch News shows edit clips of them fighting together. The more they fight, the more I have to hear about googling Ron Paul. I like Ron Paul, I just don't want to google him, I mean I barely know him. I don't google until the second or third date anyways, unless Zima is involved.

Let's get it right this time. Imagine the progress missed out on when the jews and African Americans fought, imagine the cigars Skeletor and Cobra smoked while A.L.F and Black Panther fought about who had tried to convince Reagan more to chill out on the weapons program (and keep in mind that they only smoke cigars made of children's brains).

Their are enough superficial divisions in the country. Let's get together, work together, campaign against a legacy of tyranny together. Let's root for an African American or woman president together. Let's be better than we usually are, better than our own human instincts tell us to be. I want to see them holding hands as they walk up to the endless debating podiums, and holding hands as they walk away to read blogs about what people think of them and look at funny pictures of cats.




I was going to try to keep my political affiliation ambiguous in my blog, but it's pretty obvious I'm for A.L.F.


I also have to admit that I have googled Ron Paul. I googled him long, and I googled him hard. That might explain the rash I know have on myspace.

My Fair Lady

Last night was midnight madness at the luxurious South Florida fair. This fair is one of the biggest fairs I have ever seen. It is how I imagine fairs to be in the 50's or 60's, before they became modeled after white trash city council meetings. But I digress. This had all the fair games you would come to expect, throwing darts at stuff, breaking beer bottles, shooting hoops, trying not to step in puke or touch anything. It also had all the fair staples like hot dog stands, candy stands, overpriced beer with gnats in it, tons of guys who look at your girlfriend's chest, tons of girl's chests whom you ignore because your with your girlfriend and she knows that other dudes are looking at her chest so she keeps checking your eyes every time another chest walks by. They also had some pretty awesome rides for a fair. When we first went inside, we had to play a game.

"Three dollars, break three balloons win a prize!"

"Ahhh, I want a puppy dog."

"Then you play, I'm not drunk enough to talk to carnies yet."

"Hey there, pretty thing. Put you legs right up here (unnecessarily touches butt) and put your pretty little arm up like this (unnecessarily gropes arm) and just throw it."

Pop

Pop

thunk

"Okay, for three more dollars you can try again and win this puppy no matter what."

"Now this time just stand up here (butt) and hold here (hand) and let go."

thunk

pop

thunk

"Okay, well here's your puppy."



"Geeze, I can't believe I spent six bucks on this."

"Think of it as helping to buy that guy a new ear."

Next it was off to see the sites. First we paid two dollars and saw the smallest horse in the world. It was really the smallest horse, it was cute. Then we paid two bucks and saw the biggest horse in the world. And believe me, after seeing the littlest horse in the world, he looked huge. It was weird, my wiener was still bigger than his though. Then we saw the biggest snake in the world. It was pretty cool as well. Now all of this exhibits had the same style paintings on the wall and the same voice coming over the megaphone explaining what was in the booth. My girlfriend went in to see Tiny Tina, only 29 inches tall. I chose not to participate in this one. She came out and could only describer her as "like a little meatball with a little phone who was texting." I tell you all this, but really it was the last one of these exhibits that was the best. There on the sign, amongst a huge crowd said, "Snake Girl, the beautiful head of a girl, the grotesque body of a snake." No way. It has to be just some deformed snake, or lizard or something. "She'll answer all of your questions!" What! How! Maybe some girl had a microphone for it or something. Okay, okay. Let's go.


It was just a stuffed snake with a girl sitting in a box with only her head showing. Now, mind you, the sign clearly said beautiful girl....I don't want to judge...but she was red faced and sweating her ass off. Another thing, it said she can answer any question. My girlfriend asked, "Are you comfortable?" and the snake beast replied "Are you comfortable." But the best part of the exhibit came when we stood outside and watched others pay to see this freak of nature. Here are some comments I heard.


"ah, shit. Come on."
"She ain't even pretty."
"Just a chick in a box, I can see that shit at home."
"They are probably going to make 5 thousand dollars tonight, I can't believe that."

I don't know why that guy had a chick in a box at home.... The best part was this Asian family came up. There were seven of them. It looks like they already had a successful day at the fair. The kids were tired, they had prizes. They were on there way out. Then the little boy wants to go inside. The father was debating it. He looked at the sign.

"It's just a snake right?"

The guy taking the money gave him a blank look and turned around to see the sign. He just read it aloud.

"Snake with the head of a beautiful girl, body of a grotesque snake." Then he shrugged. The dad tried to convince the son it was nothing, but then the wife got curious. Then the grandma, and soon the dad was forking out seven dollars to see snake girl. When they came out, the grandma was mad, the older girl and boy were laughing, the dad and mom were mad. Then the little boy came out last. He looked bewildered.

"How does it poop?"

And finally, my predictions came true. I ended up eating two thirds of a hotdog, a half a bag of fries, a pizza with one bite taken out of it, nachos, four beers, the "gross" portions of a cotton candy bag, and a funnel cake. The funnel cake was at the end of the night. Something to eat on the long trek back to the car. But then it started pouring. I mean, torrential downpour and my girlfriend has an iphone. Unfortunatly the bag the funnel cake came in was waterproof, so I had to eat the funnel cake, as it was getting soggy from the rain in order to get the bag. Then we had to run to the car. I don't know if you've ever had to chugg a funnel cake and run, but it doesn't work out. I spent the rest of the night with a huge stomach ache, and powdered sugar under my fingernails. It was awesome.

I forgot to add that we rode this spinning ride thing that this guy named Genius operated. Every time we spun by his window I would go, "Come on Geeenius." mocking him, thinking he would spin us faster. After about nine of these the ride ended. As we walked by his window he just gave me a nasty glare, he had taken his name tag that said genius off, and he was typing on his phone. I like to think he was texting Tiny Tina about how he can't wait until the fair was closed, so they could make love until the sun came up.

The Democratic Debate and Line Dancing Cont...

In true blogger fashion, I did not continue my blog the next day. The story in itself is incredible. There I was, minding my own business, well actually I was minding other people's businesses, I was working on a new investment portfolio for a home lending company... but I won't depress you. Then, all of the sudden, out of the sky came this huge purple ship. I thought, am I in Texas or on the Ellen show? Neither. So I looked outside and saw that this ship was spraying some white stuff on some pit or something. Then I logged into X-box live and started killing 14 year olds with Garth, Steven, and Lt. Matt. It was a blast. Here's the thing about Halo, it can really relax you and calm you down and can be a good stress reliever...but only if you win. If you start losing all the laughing and jokes stop. You just deploy to the next match in silence and hope that you start winning a few, otherwise everyone will quit. Then it's back the real world of blogging and podcasting. Yeesh, how do I survive.

If you can't tell by now, I don't want to finish my last blog entry. It was going to sum up about something like really everyone wants the same thing, we all just want to line dance and let responsible people run the government responsibly. Then I was going to talk about how nothings wrong with that but then I would leave a quote with a warning like "the price of freedom is vigilance." So just pretend I did all that. Oh yeah, then I would end on a joke. Something totally nonsensical like....geeze...I don't know. No joke I write is going to top the minding my own business joke. If you didn't think that was funny, read it again. If it still isn't funny, sit down for ten minutes, then stand up real fast. It won't make it funnier, it's just cool to get head rushes.

In a related topic, another primary is on tonight as well as some news coverage that I want to watch, but I'll be at the South Florida fair. My girlfriend doesn't get off until 9 or 10 so I tried to pretend like I didn't want to go because that would be too late. Like I needed more time than a few hours at the fair, but it didn't work out. Plus she said she would buy me fair food. I told her I only eat pleasant. She didn't laugh. The only problem with this is she's on some strict diet, but she wants a piece of everything so I always end up having to eat it. This may sound awesome, but I have cavities*.


Until next time, Max out.






*untrue if you are reading this as Max's parents or grandparents

The Democratic Campaign and Line Dancing

There are times in a young blogger's life when he has to do things he doesn't want to do. Yesterday, I wanted badly to watch the Democratic debate in Nevada. There were many reasons I wanted to watch this particular debate. I know there have been several hundred before and there will be several hundred after but I spent six hours the day before at Books A Million (AKA the library, the only difference is you can't take books into the shitter at Books A Million, I was going to buy the damn book anyways. Maybe Joe Mugg's coffee shouldn't use ca-ca beans in there coffee you weasley books a million manager enjoy your life dream of being a books a million manager Brad!) What was I talking about? Oh yeah, I read a few chapters of some interesting books about the housing problem and the group of men who cased it...on purpose supposedly. I also read some of Bill O' Reilly's book and parts of Keith Olberman's which I will get to in another blog. Soon. I don't know when, check your new blog email notifications. At any rate, I had heard Ms. Clinton would be talking about this. Also, Mr. Obama and Ms. Clinton would be discussing what they thought was wrong with the economy and their plans to fix it. So there I was, sitting at my girlfriend's house watching the debate. I was enthralled, well, after they got over the "race" discussion, which wasn't a discussion at all. It was pretty much just everyone saying, "I have black friends." Which is true, and good for them. Then around the second break I noticed my girlfriend trying on different shirts, looking in the mirror and dancing up and down. About the third shirt, I asked her about it.

"What are you doing? Do you need me to check for lumps or something?"

"Babeeeeee, you know what tonight is."

"Yeah, debate night."

"Not everyone likes to watch the debates."

"Who doesn't"

"All the people we are hanging out with tonight."

"Who's that?"

Then her poodle started barking and peeing on the carpet a little. That means someone is at the door. In walked her friend from work Laura. Laura was wearing a tiny, cut up t shirt with rebel flags on it that said, "When your butt's this good, who needs boobs?" Also, so she had tiny cut off jeans and a cup of wine. I started to figure out what was going on.

"Hey girl."

"Hey girl."

"Hey girl."

"Hey Max. Where did your mustache go?"

"I had to shave, I wasn't ready yet. I miss it."

"Geeze, I can't find the right shirt for line dancing"

Damn it. Damn it, damn it, damn it.



Once inside, I tried to take the place in. But it was hard because it was a huge place. There was a mechanical bull, which by the way, is it okay for guys to ride those? I don't know why, but I always thought it was a girl thing to do, but I've seen more guys do it then girls. My good friend Matt Sevcik did it once and he had to fill out a release form first. To add to my theory that only girls are supposed to do it, the release had these questions

Are you pregnant: Yes No
Are you sure: Yes No
Are you menstruating: Yes No
Do you agree to maintain your balance in a sexy way: Yes No

Okay the last one wasn't on there, but whatever. What was I talking about? I need to quit blogging under the influence but I keep thinking cocaine worked for Poe, so whatever. So we are inside. There is a huge dance floor, a few TVs, all on either ABC or a Kenney Chesney learn to dance DVD from the 90's. It looks like it was in the nineties, of course it's hard to tell in country videos. Sorry, bloggers don't use outlines. So there was a bull, there were tons of chicks line dancing, and there were a bunch of dudes. Fortunately my girlfriend knows there is no way I'm line dancing so all I have to do is hold her wine, and camera, and wallet, and whatever when she goes to dance. There were also two gay guys there, one was exactly like my other good friend named Matt Mitchell, I mean, to a T. Why do people say that? There is too much to write here, I have to take a break. Let's recap.

1: I wanted to watch the debate
2: I ended having to go to a line dancing bar
3: Capri Sun really takes the edge off.


My girlfriend just walked in, I have to go. To be continued tomorrow.

What are you going to do? What are you going to do?

Today my good friend Dennis asked me, "What are you going to do after graduation?" I've been getting this question more and more often as I am about to get my masters degree. The problem is I don't know what I'm going to do yet. I need to do many things before I am in a position to start looking for jobs. Below is a list of the things I need to do.

1. Grow a mustache
2. Start a blog
3. Talk to an old professor about where to look for jobs in the industry
4. Make a sweet website
5. Finish my thesis
6. Decide what I want to do with the rest of my life


The reason why I worry so much when Dennis asks me this question is because every once in awhile, Dennis is hilarious and I value his opinion. Most of the time he is pretty funny, but once in awhile he does something so funny, that normal people might not understand why it's funny. For example, he put a picture album on the internet called Dennis' Room: The Ride and it's just different pictures of his room. The funny part comes when the last picture has this written on the wall.

What's so funny about this is Dennis pretended like he was going to kill himself before at a middle school party. He ran into the bathroom and started banging his wrists on the bathroom counter. Like that would work!

In closing, I would just like to say, Dennis quit asking me about my life or I will write embarrassing stories about you in middle school on my blog.

Setting: A Dark and Bloggy Night

I wonder what Martin Luther King thought on that fair August morning in 1963 before he delivered his euphoric, emphatic decleration of peace and hope. I too wonder what a young Memphis mother thought that morning in 1935 right before she delivered another type of king. And I wonder also what a naive alien thought, that glorious day of January 1986 when his TV sitcom aired for the first time. Why do I wonder about these things? I'm not sure. I just wonder what these heroes thought, on the days of their great triumphs. Did they know that these moments in time would be great turning points of civilization? Did they fathom the radical change of winds that they would stir? We may never know. Just as we may never know what ideas we had on this day in January in the year two ought ought eight. On this day, when Max Kreutzer began his weekly blog. Is this another great turning point in human civilization? Time shall tell.

How do I put in pictures of my cat?